When it comes to caregiving, many necessary tasks are similar, no matter the illness, condition or disability.
Daily living support is just the start. There are medications to manage, meals to prepare, doctor’s appointments to get to, and sometimes even more complex medical responsibilities like giving injections or cleaning catheter bags.
Adventure usually isn’t part of that list. But for Acushnet resident Kevin Dakin and his family, caring for their mother, Nancy, 80, often includes getting her out into the world.
They take her hiking, bring her along on shopping trips and coffee runs, and make time for simple car rides she enjoys. Two years ago, they even brought her to Dakin’s wedding in Niagara Falls.
Once, they put a helmet on her and went off-roading in New Hampshire.
Keeping Nancy moving and engaged is what keeps her going, Dakin said.
“Being able to keep her out of a nursing home, it’s just great that we have the resources to be able to do that because I don’t think she would do well there,” he said, adding that his mother needs to be active. “If we have a couple days where she’s not walking a lot or whatever, you can even see within a couple days that she’s slowing down.”
“Sometimes we’ll even take her to my sister’s house just to practice the stairs, just to keep her going,” he added.
Dakin was one of three caregivers selected for recognition through New Bedford-based Coastline’s Nominate a Caregiver program in November.
Nominations came in from the community about people who were caring for others in meaningful ways. They told stories of people who have dedicated their time and energy to help loved ones through illness, dementia, aging, injuries and more, often at home where they’ve lived for years.
Family Caregivers Month as a way of celebrating the gifts given by these dedicated and selfless individuals.
“We wanted to draw attention to the many caregivers in our communities who are giving love and support to others every day,” said Jessica Kopecky-Lanausse, Coastline’s Community Resources Supervisor. “Coastline provides services to help older adults remain in their communities, including respite support for caregivers. So this is a way to connect and help people know the programs and services we offer.”
Each of the three caregivers was presented with a basket that included a restaurant gift certificate and respite support from Coastline to be able to take time for themselves.
Jeannie Lake was nominated for her generous spirit helping others. She provides transportation, friendship and care to many older adults in
Marion. At 84, she might be at home receiving care herself, but instead, finds joy and quality of life through helping others.
Lake often shows up to the Council on Aging with two or three friends in her car, said COA program coordinator Linda Jackvony, who nominated Lake for the recognition.
Speaking during a recent COA lunch, Jackvony pointed to a woman sitting at Lake’s table. “That woman doesn’t drive; she has nobody who can bring her. Jeannie brings her to everything here. Whatever it is, Jeannie brings her,” she said.
Another woman Lake was giving rides to recently moved to an assisted living facility for memory care. “Jeannie still goes to visit her on a regular basis,” said Jackvony. “She’ll have lunch with her. She’ll have dinner with her and she brings her nail polish to do her nails.”
Jackvony said Lake is the definition of selflessness. Even with her own health issues, including walking with a cane, Lake hasn’t slowed down her support of others.
“Her giving attitude and nature is just in her DNA,” Jackvony wrote in her nomination. “Whether it is baking something for someone that is going through something or picking up a passenger that can no longer drive, or attending Memory Café weekly with someone that is dealing with a terrible disease and trying to make light of it and keep them smiling, Jeannie is just a breath of fresh air and sunshine and I truly believe that if we had more folks like Jeannie in this world, the world would be a much better place.”
Lake enjoyed receiving the basket and gifts but took the recognition lightly. “I like to do that as my thing,” she said about helping others. “I’m not a gardener or anything, as my sister is. She’s a wonderful gardener. But I like to help and I keep doing that. So we all have our likes and dislikes.”
The third caregiver recognized by Coastline, Meagan Lincoln of New Bedford, began taking care of her dad, John, several years after he had been diagnosed with Parkinson. She’s been caring for him for 11 years, with increasing medical needs, especially now with John’s recent cancer diagnosis. For her giving nature, Lincoln was nominated by three individuals, each of whom praised her ongoing dedication to her father.
Asked about the highs and lows of caring for another person with a serious illness, Lincoln said she struggled with the new diagnosis and its impact on her dad. “I think the hardest thing is just navigating those highs and lows of being a caregiver and taking care of another person,” she said.
Despite the hard times, Lincoln said she’s learned more about herself and her strengths through caring for her dad, including things she never thought she’d be able to do.
“I feel like I’ve grown a lot myself,” she said. “I’m definitely much more like empathetic and compassionate and a more patient person throughout this experience.”
“It’s lucky for me, she’s in my life,” Lincoln’s dad, John, added from his seat next to his daughter. “She takes good care of me.”
For Dakin, the recognition is meaningful, but so is the team around him, including Coastline and others who make the care Nancy receives work.
“It’s definitely a team effort,” he said. “I’ve seen lots of people who try to do it alone or go at it alone, and they burn out very quickly. I think having such a powerful support system from Coastline, Senior Whole Health, family, you know it’s a big team effort to kind of provide care and I definitely wouldn’t be able to do it without having a whole team.”
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